BANFF. These are some real mountains.
It started off...
...a little foggy...
...but things improved over time.
You can't really tell from looking at this picture, but the high that day was -2, low of -11 overnight. "How soon are we getting to California?"
This one is called "Discomfort." Subtitle, "It'll look better if we don't wear our hats."
"That's a badger! Right?"
It's a jackal! Is it a jackal? Maybe a jackal? It's a jackal! Definitely a jackal! (someone will get this, but the reference will probably go unappreciated, kind of like the RMB over the past year. ZING!)
*There really was a badger, or maybe a marten.
Time to head up to the fancy-ass Chateau Lake Louise...
...which is -- you guessed it -- on the shore of Lake Louise...
...for a nice view of the lake...
...and SIX DOLLAR HOT CHOCOLATE UGH.
Apparently this wasn't news to any of the three people we told this to, but Canada has its own version of the Bloody Mary, called the Bloody Caesar. According to the bartender, the only real difference: the use of Clamato -- tomato and clam juice, supposedly it's everywhere. Sounds AWFUL. Why do people like Bloody Marys? I'll never understand that.
Anyway, point is, 24 hours later we found this:
At 6 a.m. in our Banff (actually Canmore) hotel, the alarm went off -- more specifically, it was Pitbull. PITBULL. Musical spawn of satan. I scrambled out of bed and fumbled around in the dark trying to find the snooze button...two minutes later, suffering from a staggering combination of panic and resignation, it hit me: IT'S IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR, AND NO ONE IS IN THERE TO SHUT IT OFF. Ok we can take care of this -- just call the front desk and have them come up. Oh, wait, they're only there from 8 am to 10 pm.
Two hours. TWO HOURS of thumping Pitbull, Usher, Katy Perry, LMFAO and 3OH!3 before it finally shut off.
Not in the mood, Winter. Get out of the car.
This part kind of redeemed the rude awakening.
Ice fetch on Johnson Lake.
Ominous.
In the US, the tallest mountains tend to be around 14,000 feet tall, but usually only one or two mountains per range hit that. In Banff, they're ALL that high.
I guess that slogan works. But wouldn't a more appropriate one be "The game for the avid pooper"?
In retrospect, this was probably a bad omen (read on and you'll see why)
You may be asking yourself, "What's this all about?"
Why is there a cable tied to the back of the car?
It might have something to do with drifting off the road (luckily into a snowbank and not off a cliff) on the Icefields Parkway into snow up to the windows...
But after a half hour of waiting for help, a Canadian hippy couple, two cranky Americans, a cadre of Slovakian tourists, and (luckily) a 4WD truck showed up.
Back on the road. This is Peyto Lake, "The Bluest Lake in the Rockies."
Despite the...incident...everyone should drivethe Icefields Parkway at least once (preferably in the summer).
"Ooooh look! Here it comes!"
"What?? What is it? Is it a bear?!"
No. It was a train.
But, I guess "here it comes" isn't something you want to hear someone yelling about a bear.
Surprise trip back to Lake Louise for an extra night in the park
Winter has gotten pretty spoiled at this point. This look screams either "They're just more mountains, do I have to go?" or "I'm too tired to go out, can't I just pee in here?"
Playing pool in the Chateau Lake Louise
Ookie Ma getting made fun of on Jimmy Fallon!*
*This is actually just a lookalike they hired to IMPERSONATE Ookie.
**If you don't know who Ookie is, this will not be funny to you.
**If you don't know who Ookie is, this will not be funny to you.
I hoped doing this would make her stop begging, but it really just made the begging more effective.
This guy was waiting on our car to send us off into the great Canadian wilderness.
These are the last mountains for several weeks -- congratulations, you made it through hundreds of repetitive mountain pictures unscathed. Next up, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland.
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